 No one’s opinion about the quality of the first (or second or third) draft of your screenplay matters as much as your own. You are the one with the idea, concept, artistic vision and (hopefully) the writing skills to convert it into a commercially viable screenplay.
But when you need a good second opinion about what your script needs before it goes to market, a good script analyst is a much more reliable arbiter of the quality of your screenplay than your fiance, your chiropractor, your cell mate, your mother or your dog. The rates for the analysts I surveyed, not just those reviewed below, varied from $300 to $1,700. Quite a spread, and there is certainly no guarantee you are going to get what you pay for. This is why it is essential that you know what a good script analyst can and cannot do for you and what to look for before you engage his or her services.
First, it is important to be cognizant of the co-dependant relationship between script analyst and psychoanalyst. Chances are, after you’ve engaged the former and had your opus go through the script consultant’s ringer, you may very well be in need of the latter. I’m sure, somewhere in Studio City, there is a professional building that rents an office space to both, the script analyst sliding her shingle over the psychoanalyst’s shingle when she’s in and he sliding his over hers when he’s in.
I submitted my latest screenplay to four analysts and although the exercise was very helpful in terms of objective appraisal of my script, I had to flip back in the yellow pages that lists analysts from "script" to "psycho" after it was all over. It can be a demoralizing and ego-deflating experience to have a story you have been nurturing for a year or more taken apart, and not necessarily put back together, by a consultant you hope is qualified and knows what they’re talking about. It’s kind of how you feel about paying your dentist to cause you pain and suffering while you lie in the chair and think about all the other ways you could be spending your time and money.
I did get back some interesting advice about how to improve structure, increase dramatic tension and decrease page numbers. I didn’t agree with it all and a lot of it I had considered already anyway. Still, it was nice to have people who are supposed to be experts in the area of script analysis agree with what I had already planned for my second draft.
The right script analyst can be an invaluable asset if you do get hooked up with the right one. A bad one can send you in the wrong direction in terms of final execution of the screenplay and, worst-case scenario, totally demoralize and discourage you and have you thinking you should trash what could be a potentially viable screenplay. It really is a lot like working with the right therapist and, as is the case with picking the right therapist, it is incumbent upon the patient/client to determine whom they should trust their psyche or script (same thing, maybe) to.
How do you know if you are getting a qualified professional script analyst or a bum? As is the case with every kind of purchase, check them out! Caveat emptor and all that. In order to be effective, a good script doctor needs something similar to what a good therapist and a good writer need: a life. It’s doubtful whether a script analyst can be a reliable judge of the viability or credibility of a story that involves complex human drama, personal, social and/or political intrigue and an array of multi-dimensional relationships if they have never been out in the world. Sure, they can tell you a lot about plot points and character development and dialogue and visual arena and formatting and all the rest of it, but so can most screenwriting books you can purchase from Silman-James Press and Tallfellow Press.
In order for someone to apprehend and comment with authority on a story that involves either singular personal drama and complexity or interpersonal relationships that constitute the backbone of most screenplays, the analyst has to know something about the human predicament. I realize this may not be the case if you are working on Diary of a Mad Web Cam Voyeur© or a story about a deranged vet who unleashes mad poodle disease on the aristocracy of America©. But short of lucking out by retaining the services of a deranged script analyst for work on a story about a deranged vet or web cam voyeur, the person you do engage has to know something about the complexity and motivations of human behavior to comment on the viability of a story about complex human beings.
The best script doctors, like the best therapists, bring something more than procrustean adherence to formulaic structure and a Die Hard conception of what Hollywood is buying to the dance, be it the random, frenetic jitterbug of life or the pas de trois of screenwriter, studio and audience. To comment authoritatively or even have a clue about real drama, conflict and story, your script analyst should know what it is to be in the world, not as a passive observer or analyst, but as an active human being risking the kinds of things your protagonist risks, whether it’s love, money, honor or life itself.
There are lots of script consultants to choose from. Your experience with them will likely be as different as mine. The ones I took out for a trial spin had several strengths and some had obvious weaknesses; it’s also true, however, that what one screenwriter experiences as a negative quality, such as blunt directness, another may find helpful. The following description of the four script docs I worked with should help you appreciate how different various styles of script consultation services can be, and may help you decide what you are looking for from a script consultant. | |  | Michael Thunder | Michael Thunder: What impressed me most about Michael Thunder was his lightening fast turnaround time. The script I sent him was over 175 pages and Michael started returning his analysis just a few days after I submitted it to him electronically (that was the way I sent the screenplay to all the analysts). The speedy turnaround time did not compromise the quality of his analysis, either. I found it to be thorough, insightful and very professional. I didn’t entirely agree with some of his suggestions regarding dialogue and dramatic focus, but I didn’t go into this looking for suggestions or advice regarding either of these areas which happen to be two of my greatest strengths. As was the case with all the analysts I check out, some of Michael’s advice was bang on and some of it wasn’t. In the end, no matter what the analyst suggests in terms of plot points, dialogue or anything else, it is ultimately up to the writer to make the call about which direction the story takes. All an analyst can do is comment on structural, thematic, format or other aspects of the script he thinks are weak or untenable and make the writer aware of these. Script analysis, similar to psychoanalysis, is a very subjective and inexact science.
This is a good place to acknowledge the difference between a collaborator and a script analyst. It is important to distinguish between the two for creative, legal and marketing reasons. An honest and reliable script doctor is never going to pass him or herself off as a creative partner who is going to write a screenplay with or for you. They are engaged to provide feedback, criticism and opinions about what you have already written, not to do the writing with or for you. This might seem obvious but it’s easy for the lines to blur when you have turned your script over to someone whose job it is to take it apart and point out where its strengths and weaknesses lie.
All of the analysts I engaged had ideas about what to cut, what to strengthen, etc., but it never seemed like an attempt to take over the reins of creative control and development of the story. Anyone who tries to do that is crossing the boundaries in terms of what a script analyst’s responsibilities are. This doesn’t mean script consultants can’t be instructive as well as analytical. Michael Thunder, for instance, was didactic but never dictatorial in his commentary about script and story.
Another reason you need to keep the boundaries defined in terms of analyst as opposed to collaborator is because if you allow someone to rewrite and/or develop the screenplay with you or for you, then you are essentially working with a writing partner. There are a number of script analysts who do offer these services if that’s what you are looking for; it should be obvious from the wording of the service you sign up for and the price that you pay whether you are getting a collaborator or an analyst. Read the fine print! | |  | | | Script Viking provided me with a fully marked up script as well as phone consultation. Both were very helpful and, again, honed in on things like page length, structural elements, conflict, main plot versus sub-plot, dialogue, etc. The Viking I worked with (I couldn’t get the image of a woman in a round horned helmet sitting in a many-oared wooden ship moored in Marina del Ray talking to me on a cell phone out of my head), Colleen, provided marked-up script notes and a phone consultation that was very constructive in terms of focusing on plot points, character development, the most dramatic elements of the script as well as areas that could be strengthened or toned down.
Script Viking’s founder, producer/director Jorn Winther, started the company because he felt that there are a lot of scriptwriters and novelists who will have a hard time getting their work read by studios and networks. Script Viking tries to provide a service that gives “writers a chance to get constructive feedback and, if necessary, development of their script.”
Colleen was available for a weekend phone consultation, Saturday morning, which was very impressive. This can also be helpful if you are under a tight deadline and need feedback about all or part of a script ASAP. Colleen’s open-minded approach to the potential of the story and her personal impressions about its strengths and weaknesses facilitated dialogue that was very constructive. All in all, a very reliable, responsive and professional script analysis.
Sometimes a screenwriter with a new or developing (i.e. first draft) script on his or her hands needs gentle guidance and encouragement as well as constructive criticism. No one I worked with did a better job of providing this than Marlene Swartz. She has over 15 years experience in theatre and film. She is the founding artistic director of the award-winning SoHo Repertory Theatre in NYC. She co-directed Blue Man Group's TUBES, collaborating with the artists themselves. Her clients' work has been seen in competition at Sundance, at Slamdance, at the Aspen Comedy Festival and elsewhere. She taught screenwriting at NYU and has been a consultant at New Dramatists, NYC. She has worked for Miramax, Jonathan Demme, MGM, ICM, Scott Rudin and others.
Her initial analysis of the script I sent her was bang-on in terms of dramatic focus and potential and she did a brilliant job of placing the story within the cinematic context of films that preceded it. Most of our consultation was conducted over the phone; Marlene prefers clients tape these sessions so that clients have an accurate record of the session and can focus and concentrate on making the most of the discussion of the script.
I can’t say enough good things about Swartz; her script-side manner is what every writer needs when they are nurturing a story that is as fraught with challenge and complexity as it is with promise. Marlene understands and demonstrated the value of diplomatic encouragement without compromising concise, direct feedback about inconsistencies, structural problems and developmental issues.
Her background in theatre, classic and modern, enables her to appreciate and focus on the salient dramatic aspects of a story and offer suggestions that help the writer develop these. The flexibility in her availability was also very impressive and she obviously draws on the life skills noted in my preamble, that which enables any kind of analyst to comment authoritatively on complex drama.
What I really liked about Swartz is that she put the emphasis on what she thought was right about the script and offered gentle-yet-decisive advice about how to improve what she thought were its weak points. Again, I didn’t agree with all of the analysis and had anticipated much of it already, but as I said, that was my experience with all of the analysts. All in all, Marlene provided encouragement, guidance and suggestions in a way that felt more empowering than critical. Marlene is a professional dramaturge who can be one of your greatest allies and help you realize the full potential of your screenplay.
Marleine Pacilio doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to telling clients what she thinks is good, mediocre or just plain awful or unworkable about their scripts. She provided me with the most thorough analysis I received; also the most detailed, the most analytical and the most brutal. As it says on her web site, she is a senior writer/editor for a major studio and “script analyst for Syracuse University Entertainment Alumni Coalition, which reviews scripts for recommendation to industry alumni like writer/producer Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing) and producer Peter Guber (Mandalay Pictures).”
Depending on how you see it, this can be a plus or minus or both for clients. Pacilio certainly came at my script like someone in the unforgiving trenches of the studio system. After her analysis, from Fade In to Fade Out, there were red flags and dead bodies/discarded characters all over the visual canvas of my story.
Some of her criticism I agreed with, some I didn’t. I think, being entrenched in the studio system as she is, Marleine goes right for the structural jugular and anything that appears to be a deviation from what she deems to be a commercially viable enterprise. A lot of writers would consider this a very good thing because you are getting the biggest bang for your buck if a trained studio editor points out what she believes to be every flaw, oversight, lack of conflict, misplaced or absent plot point, thematic redundancy, over-written description, etc, in your script. This is not a criticism so much as a caveat; if you are looking for a brutally honest, thorough critique of your script, you probably won’t be disappointed if you engage Marleine.
Acerbic delivery aside, I found her script notes and mark-up to be top notch; very thorough with detailed commentary throughout. She put a great deal of effort into editing and analyzing the script and it was obvious all of her criticisms and suggestions were geared toward making the script as commercially viable as possible. I didn’t agree with all of the recommendations or the comparisons to other stories in a similar genre, but even the things we didn’t agree on helped me strengthen my decisions and resolve about the direction the second draft should take.
If you are looking for someone who combines expert analysis with incredible credentials and experience, put Daniel Calvisi in your script analyst black book. Calvisi evaluated the treatment for the script I sent the analysts and did an incredible job of providing feedback regarding which elements, characters, plot points and dramatic focus should be highlighted. Although he does analyze treatments, Calvisi’s primary expertise is screenplay analysis and his background in this area is very, very impressive. He has worked as a reader for some of the biggest studios in the business and worked for executives who have developed features such as Cold Mountain and Chicago. Former employers include Miramax Films, Dimension Films, Twentieth Century Fox, New Line Cinema, Polygram Filmed Entertainment and Clinica Estetico Films. He has also provided coverage for several novels written by some of the most popular novelists working today and has worked with private clients as a story consultant since 1998. Calvisi is a published journalist and has taught screenwriting and story analysis at four educational institutions. His resumé is quite extraordinary and he balances professionalism and experience with a gentle-but-guiding demeanor. He can provide incisive analysis and feedback on notes or an outline, a full treatment or a complete feature screenplay. If you are looking for a script analyst who brings impeccable credentials, skill and diplomacy to the job, Calvisi is hard to beat.
Whether you are sending out a treatment, notes or finished screenplay, grammar, punctuation, spelling and cosmetic features are incredibly important. Readers, producers, agents and directors are not going to take your treatment, synopsis or script seriously if it is grammatically flawed. This is where the services of an objective, seasoned copy editor can be of inestimable value. I have worked with two of them and recommend them both highly.
Cheryl Seibel has been a professional copy editor and proofreader for seven years. She copy edited my synopsis/treatment and I’m very glad I entrusted it to her before I put it on the market or showed it to anyone in the industry. She polishes your synopsis/treatment and/or script in a way that makes you look professional and extremely literate. Note that this is not script analysis she provides but copy editing and polishing of story description, overview, note compilations, etc. I consider it an essential service if you are trying to interest someone in your story and it is still at the treatment or synopsis stage. But even if you have completed the script, someone like Seibel can go over the descriptive or action parts of it and the dialogue and check for consistency and proper grammar, where appropriate.
Susan Lyons is an actress and a copy editor who also has a keen eye for grammar, spelling and punctuation, from an Australian perspective. Whether you’re planning to pitch to an American producer, Aussie studio or other, Susan can provide your outline, treatment/synopsis or notes with a polish that will put your most literate foot forward.
Rates and contact information for these script analysts and copy editors/proofreaders can be found at the following: (It is a good idea to write "Consultation" in the subject line when you contact these people, so they know you are a potential client and not more spam.)
Michael Thunder
http://www.thunderforwriters.com
Script Viking
http://www.scriptviking.com
Marlene Swartz
http://www.storyconf.com
Marleine Pacilio
http://www.writersblueprint.com Daniel Calvisi
http://www.actfourscreenplays.com
Cheryl Seibel
cdzybel@yahoo.ca
Susan Lyons
LyonsSooz323@aol.com
Cell Phone: 1 (917) 214-1959
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
Jeffrey M. Freedman has been a journalist and screenwriter for over 21 years. His most recent feature script, a period piece about an Italian Baroque composer, is under consideration at several major studios in NYC and L.A. His primary residences are in Toronto and Los Angeles.
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