After encouraging her to try percussion mode, I mentally pictured the 10,000 Liliputian massage therapists that the folks at Human Touch surely implanted into this king of massage chairs. HT began to hum. Kristin’s eyelids surrendered to gravity’s pull and I witnessed her melt into the velvety embrace of HT’s arms. There was no going back. Every night, I have to peel my gelatinous wife out of this marvel of modern muscle relaxation. Don’t take my word for it. Don’t take Kristin’s word for it. Just read these reviews from Kristin’s major muscle groups!

“We were blown away. A tour de force.” -Trapezius and Deltoid  

“An unforgettable thrill ride. We laughed. We cried. The serotonin was flowing.” -Teres Major and Teres Minor

“Call me jelly and put me on some toast.” -Lattisimus Dorsi

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the people at Human Touch for obsoleting, and thereby liberating, my hands from any and all back rubbing obligations with my wife. Less time on her back equals more time on the keyboard.

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Patrick Costello is an aspiring screenwriter from La Mesa, CA. He was the winner of Script's Ultimate Writers Workspace Giveaway this past summer.

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